The Shift

I´m aware in speaking of the shift how difficult it is to really say what it is. For me something vanished, one moment it was there the next it wasn´t. It´s tempting to use well worn descriptions which make some sense but perhaps don´t tell the whole truth. I could say that the "I" thought left, but that´s not it, it´s still operating some of the time. Or thinking stopped, well yes it did, and thinking stops often and easily now, but thinking still happens - a lot. Or the ego left, in some senses that´s close too, but not it, there is still ego, only it is quieter and less uppity. Perhaps the sense of doership left, but that still occurs too. Or pain body left, nope not that though it appears with less and less force. All of these have some relevance, but none is exactly it. It´s more like some thread of ownership tied all of these together and made a coherent whole, something tangible, palpable. It felt like there was a separate entity in there, in this body or mind space, it had shape, opacity, viscosity. And now it´s not there anymore, in the instant of the shift it vanished. Leaving behind a feeling of space and peace that doesn´t locate itself in a particular place, it doesn´t draw or feel any boundary between inside and outside, inner body and outer world. So many times the misunderstanding is that you can wake up if you destroy the ego, or stop the thinking or calm the pain body. But none of these is exactly it, they may feed the sense of something separate, so have some relevance. In a sense, working on all of these is self-inquiry and self-inquiry has the power to remove the claws and teeth of separation, but when Realization comes by grace it´s a leap beyond anything that you think it is.